Had my blood test today, very quick and easy and over in 10 minutes.
It didn't hurt very much, just a little scratch as the needle went in.
The nurse filled 5 tubes and said I can ring up Thursday afternoon for the results.
17th November 2010
Been to our clinic appointment this evening.
We both had to sign all 24 pages of both consent forms, as the consultant explained them all in detail.
C was very pleased to hear she wouldn't need to have any blood tests!
The consultant explained all the success rates of the different procedures, basically the further into the uterus the sperm is placed, the better % rate, but the higher the cost. The most expensive was where they remove the egg and fertilize it before replacing it.
We have decided our best choice would be IUI at £452 a try.
I was very surprised at how low the success rates were, about 3-4% for IUI, but apparently natural conception is only about 1-2%
The consultant explained the next steps...
1) A blood test for:
2) A hysterosalpingogram
Then, as they have 4 donors with the clinic there is no waiting list! As soon as the results are in we can go ahead!
We both had to sign all 24 pages of both consent forms, as the consultant explained them all in detail.
C was very pleased to hear she wouldn't need to have any blood tests!
The consultant explained all the success rates of the different procedures, basically the further into the uterus the sperm is placed, the better % rate, but the higher the cost. The most expensive was where they remove the egg and fertilize it before replacing it.
We have decided our best choice would be IUI at £452 a try.
I was very surprised at how low the success rates were, about 3-4% for IUI, but apparently natural conception is only about 1-2%
The consultant explained the next steps...
1) A blood test for:
Blood group and rhesus status
Cytomegalovirus
Rubella titre
Chlamydia titre
Anti-mullerian hormone level - which estimates the number of eggs remaining!
2) A hysterosalpingogram
An x-ray with catheter of the uterus to check my tubes are in good order
Then, as they have 4 donors with the clinic there is no waiting list! As soon as the results are in we can go ahead!
24th October 2010
Finally an update!!!
We've waited until we were back from holiday to make our first appointment with the clinic. After my first day back at work I was thrown into stress!!
Suddenly I work for a different company, but under the same manager, with all the same staff. There seems to be something else going on under the surface so I'm a bit cautious about losing my job and about the drop in pay we've been stuck with. I've spoken to C and while she is happy to support me, I've decided it's best to stick with the place (while trying to claim redundancy pay from my old employer). As I said to C, we could put this off forever and still never find a perfect time to have a child.
We've decided to go ahead anyway, as we will always be putting it off for something in the end.
So while I'm battling the old manager for redundancy pay...we're booked in the first counseling consultation in for 17th of November!
C is a little concerned about needles, and in the pack it says we will need a blood type sample from the partner (as well as countless tests from me) so when I rang up to book the appointment I checked this.
I was told that as we are a same sex partnership, and as it will be obvious we have used DI, C will probably not need to have a blood test, as this is generally used for different sex couples, to try to match the donor as close as possible to both partners.
C was very pleased to hear this!! All we have to do now is wait for the 17th!!! :D
We've waited until we were back from holiday to make our first appointment with the clinic. After my first day back at work I was thrown into stress!!
Suddenly I work for a different company, but under the same manager, with all the same staff. There seems to be something else going on under the surface so I'm a bit cautious about losing my job and about the drop in pay we've been stuck with. I've spoken to C and while she is happy to support me, I've decided it's best to stick with the place (while trying to claim redundancy pay from my old employer). As I said to C, we could put this off forever and still never find a perfect time to have a child.
We've decided to go ahead anyway, as we will always be putting it off for something in the end.
So while I'm battling the old manager for redundancy pay...we're booked in the first counseling consultation in for 17th of November!
C is a little concerned about needles, and in the pack it says we will need a blood type sample from the partner (as well as countless tests from me) so when I rang up to book the appointment I checked this.
I was told that as we are a same sex partnership, and as it will be obvious we have used DI, C will probably not need to have a blood test, as this is generally used for different sex couples, to try to match the donor as close as possible to both partners.
C was very pleased to hear this!! All we have to do now is wait for the 17th!!! :D
8th August 2010
I managed to read through all the gumpf last night.
The pack contained...
Covering letter
Price sheet
Donor Insemination (DI) Patient Information form
Legal Parenthood Information sheet
Use of Donor Sperm Information sheet
and 2 copies of a 24 page Consent Booklet
Covering letter.
Listed what the pack contained and explained that the initial counseling appointment will take place at the Plymouth Nuffield Clinic, but the treatment will take place in the hospital. I assumed all the treatment would be done at the clinic, but the hospital is just opposite so it's not a problem.
The letter also informed me the next step was to fill out both Consent Booklets (one is my copy, one for the hospital) and to call when ready for the initial counseling session.
During this session they will do tests for: Blood group, Cytomegalovirus status, luteal phase, Progesterone level, Rubella and Chlamydia titres for me. All they need from C is a Blood group! Lucky me :)
The charge for this session is £150 which needs to be paid for when we go in for the appointment.
Price sheet
At the moment I think we are looking at the difference between Intra Cervical Insemination (ICI) at £352, or Intra Uterine Insemination (IUI) at £452.
With ICI the sperm is placed in the cervix, and with IUI it is placed in the uterus (if additional drug stimulation is needed more fees are added).
I'm not sure what would be best yet, as different methods are more suitable for different people, but this will be discussed at the initial appointment.
We're not looking at IVF yet, hopefully it won't be needed, so will leave it out for the moment.
Donor Insemination (DI) Patient Information form
Basic form with name, address & Dr surgery details to be filled out for both me and C. Also covers previous medical history and Donor Matching Characteristics like hair and eye colour to try to match the sperm with mine and C's features.
Legal Parenthood Information sheet
Very useful fact-sheet detailing the change in law regarding legal parenthood that was effective from April 2009. Was very happy to find out that as me and C have been 'married' in a Civil Partnership, C will automatically be listed as the 2nd parent on the birth certificate (unless she specifically states she has never consented to the treatment)
Use of Donor Sperm Information sheet
Another useful fact-sheet about the Donor sperm.
We have 5 options to get donor sperm...
1)Join the waiting list and wait for sperm to become available (there has been a drop in donors since the change in law regarding donor anonymity in 2005) so not sure how long this will take.
2)Import sperm from abroad. As the sperm needs to be from an approved laboratory, and there are courier fees on top, this could increase the costs to about £1000-£2000. Not an option for us.
3)Travel to another clinic ie in London. Not really feasible for us, also costs can differ from clinic to clinic, so could end up being very expensive too.
4)Buy sperm from another UK clinic. This can cost as much as buying from abroad, so not an option for us.
5)Find our own donor and bring him to the clinic. He would have to go through the same tests and processing as a donor. However, we know no-one we could ask to do this, and also don't want to complicate matters by knowing the biological father.
So option 1, wait & see, seems to be best for us.
The sheet also had interesting info regarding the donor, specifically... 'The donor has no responsibility or financial obligations to a child resulting from treatment.' which means me or the child cannot claim for 16 years of maintenance or pocket money! :)
They can also only find out non-identifying info about how many children have been born from their donations, the sex and year of births.
When the baby reaches 16 they can access info about the number, gender and year of birth of any siblings, and non-identifying information about the donor.
When they reach 18, they can also request identifying information about the donor.
Me and C would only be able to request non-identifying information, which can include a pen portrait and a goodwill message from the donor (which I think is a lovely touch)
2 copies of a 24 page Consent Booklet
We were asked to fill them in and bring them with us, but we are not allowed to sign or date them until the initial appointment. 23 pages are basically just signing and dating, so filled in what I could.
So...the next step is to book the initial appointment :)
The pack contained...
Covering letter
Price sheet
Donor Insemination (DI) Patient Information form
Legal Parenthood Information sheet
Use of Donor Sperm Information sheet
and 2 copies of a 24 page Consent Booklet
Covering letter.
Listed what the pack contained and explained that the initial counseling appointment will take place at the Plymouth Nuffield Clinic, but the treatment will take place in the hospital. I assumed all the treatment would be done at the clinic, but the hospital is just opposite so it's not a problem.
The letter also informed me the next step was to fill out both Consent Booklets (one is my copy, one for the hospital) and to call when ready for the initial counseling session.
During this session they will do tests for: Blood group, Cytomegalovirus status, luteal phase, Progesterone level, Rubella and Chlamydia titres for me. All they need from C is a Blood group! Lucky me :)
The charge for this session is £150 which needs to be paid for when we go in for the appointment.
Price sheet
At the moment I think we are looking at the difference between Intra Cervical Insemination (ICI) at £352, or Intra Uterine Insemination (IUI) at £452.
With ICI the sperm is placed in the cervix, and with IUI it is placed in the uterus (if additional drug stimulation is needed more fees are added).
I'm not sure what would be best yet, as different methods are more suitable for different people, but this will be discussed at the initial appointment.
We're not looking at IVF yet, hopefully it won't be needed, so will leave it out for the moment.
Donor Insemination (DI) Patient Information form
Basic form with name, address & Dr surgery details to be filled out for both me and C. Also covers previous medical history and Donor Matching Characteristics like hair and eye colour to try to match the sperm with mine and C's features.
Legal Parenthood Information sheet
Very useful fact-sheet detailing the change in law regarding legal parenthood that was effective from April 2009. Was very happy to find out that as me and C have been 'married' in a Civil Partnership, C will automatically be listed as the 2nd parent on the birth certificate (unless she specifically states she has never consented to the treatment)
Use of Donor Sperm Information sheet
Another useful fact-sheet about the Donor sperm.
We have 5 options to get donor sperm...
1)Join the waiting list and wait for sperm to become available (there has been a drop in donors since the change in law regarding donor anonymity in 2005) so not sure how long this will take.
2)Import sperm from abroad. As the sperm needs to be from an approved laboratory, and there are courier fees on top, this could increase the costs to about £1000-£2000. Not an option for us.
3)Travel to another clinic ie in London. Not really feasible for us, also costs can differ from clinic to clinic, so could end up being very expensive too.
4)Buy sperm from another UK clinic. This can cost as much as buying from abroad, so not an option for us.
5)Find our own donor and bring him to the clinic. He would have to go through the same tests and processing as a donor. However, we know no-one we could ask to do this, and also don't want to complicate matters by knowing the biological father.
So option 1, wait & see, seems to be best for us.
The sheet also had interesting info regarding the donor, specifically... 'The donor has no responsibility or financial obligations to a child resulting from treatment.' which means me or the child cannot claim for 16 years of maintenance or pocket money! :)
They can also only find out non-identifying info about how many children have been born from their donations, the sex and year of births.
When the baby reaches 16 they can access info about the number, gender and year of birth of any siblings, and non-identifying information about the donor.
When they reach 18, they can also request identifying information about the donor.
Me and C would only be able to request non-identifying information, which can include a pen portrait and a goodwill message from the donor (which I think is a lovely touch)
2 copies of a 24 page Consent Booklet
We were asked to fill them in and bring them with us, but we are not allowed to sign or date them until the initial appointment. 23 pages are basically just signing and dating, so filled in what I could.
So...the next step is to book the initial appointment :)
7th August 2010
Finally an update! :)
I was ill a few weeks back, and while I was at the doctors I asked him for a referral letter.
He said he'd send one up to the clinic and if we hadn't heard anything after a couple of weeks to give the clinic a call.
Last week I called them up and they said they had my letter but were just waiting for an updated price list before sending an information pack out.
We received it today and it's got a lot of stuff to read through. The price had only gone up by £2 so that's a relief.
The next step is to read through all the information, fill out the 24 page consent booklet then ring up to book the consultation.
I was ill a few weeks back, and while I was at the doctors I asked him for a referral letter.
He said he'd send one up to the clinic and if we hadn't heard anything after a couple of weeks to give the clinic a call.
Last week I called them up and they said they had my letter but were just waiting for an updated price list before sending an information pack out.
We received it today and it's got a lot of stuff to read through. The price had only gone up by £2 so that's a relief.
The next step is to read through all the information, fill out the 24 page consent booklet then ring up to book the consultation.
24th June 2010
I recieved my free 'Pregnant Pause' booklet from Stonewall today, it's a very informative and has case studies of other lesbians and their methods of getting pregnant.
Armed with this me & C went to our appointment with the nurse at my local GP clinic.
I'd chosen to have our first appointment with a nurse rather than my doctor, as I felt it was more of an information gathering session and a 'chat' so I didn't want to waste the doctors time when he could be seeing patients.
The nurse was very friendly and easy to talk to, and didn't seem fazed by our sexuality. She admitted she wasn't too sure of the next step we had to take, as she hadn't been asked before. She asked me basic questions "Are my periods regular?" (Yes) "Do I smoke?"(No), that sort of thing, nothing too intrusive or uncomfortable. Apart from advice to increase my folic acid intake she had no real information, but promised she would ring the local fertility clinic and find out from them.
We left the doctors with good feelings, although we didn't really know much more than before, we had started the ball rolling! Within the hour she had rung me back.
Luckily our local clinic would be able to help us, however we would not be able to do it on the NHS, but the costs for the private clinic were surprisingly low.
*For the initial consultion and blood tests etc ~ £150
*IVF if needed ~ £3000 (as far as I know I am healthy, so hopefully will get pregnant without fertility drugs etc)
*Each 'course' of insemination ~ £350. We might have to have more than one course, as sometimes it just doesn't work, but fingers crossed!
I was expecting anything from £3000 to £10'000! These costs are for our local clinic, so might differ from area to area.
We do need to be refered by my GP however, and as we're away this weekend I'll make and appointment on our return, hopefully for sometime next week.
Armed with this me & C went to our appointment with the nurse at my local GP clinic.
I'd chosen to have our first appointment with a nurse rather than my doctor, as I felt it was more of an information gathering session and a 'chat' so I didn't want to waste the doctors time when he could be seeing patients.
The nurse was very friendly and easy to talk to, and didn't seem fazed by our sexuality. She admitted she wasn't too sure of the next step we had to take, as she hadn't been asked before. She asked me basic questions "Are my periods regular?" (Yes) "Do I smoke?"(No), that sort of thing, nothing too intrusive or uncomfortable. Apart from advice to increase my folic acid intake she had no real information, but promised she would ring the local fertility clinic and find out from them.
We left the doctors with good feelings, although we didn't really know much more than before, we had started the ball rolling! Within the hour she had rung me back.
Luckily our local clinic would be able to help us, however we would not be able to do it on the NHS, but the costs for the private clinic were surprisingly low.
*For the initial consultion and blood tests etc ~ £150
*IVF if needed ~ £3000 (as far as I know I am healthy, so hopefully will get pregnant without fertility drugs etc)
*Each 'course' of insemination ~ £350. We might have to have more than one course, as sometimes it just doesn't work, but fingers crossed!
I was expecting anything from £3000 to £10'000! These costs are for our local clinic, so might differ from area to area.
We do need to be refered by my GP however, and as we're away this weekend I'll make and appointment on our return, hopefully for sometime next week.
20th June 2010
Hi! Welcome to my blog. My name is Sarah and I am a lesbian. I have recently married the love of my life in a civil partnership.
We have both decided it is time to take the next step and start a family. Although, as far as I'm aware, I'm fit and healthy, for obvious reasons this isn't going to be as straightforward as 'normal' couples, but it isn't impossible!
I hope to chart our journey on this blog, and to be as open and frank as possible. Maybe another lesbian couple will stumble upon it and may find the information useful. Maybe no-one will read it but me, and it will just be an on-line diary and a way for me to let off some steam.
Either way, it should be an adventure!
So far we know very little, I know some people manage it from home with a syringe and a willing male friend. Me and C (my partner) don't want to do it this way, there can sometimes be emotional complications, the donor suddenly deciding he wants to be part of the family and help raise the child etc. We want it to be just us and the baby, so we are hoping for help from a fertility clinic.
However, apart from deciding that I will be the one to carry the baby, we don't know where to go from here, or any of the costs or other things involved. I've found a very good website called Stonewall (link on the left) that is a wealth of information for gays and lesbians for all aspects of life. They have an online guide for getting pregnant, but no numbers etc for contacting a fertility clinic.
I've booked an appointment to see a nurse at my local surgery on Thursday, hopefully she will be able to point us in the right direction.
Wish us luck!
We have both decided it is time to take the next step and start a family. Although, as far as I'm aware, I'm fit and healthy, for obvious reasons this isn't going to be as straightforward as 'normal' couples, but it isn't impossible!
I hope to chart our journey on this blog, and to be as open and frank as possible. Maybe another lesbian couple will stumble upon it and may find the information useful. Maybe no-one will read it but me, and it will just be an on-line diary and a way for me to let off some steam.
Either way, it should be an adventure!
So far we know very little, I know some people manage it from home with a syringe and a willing male friend. Me and C (my partner) don't want to do it this way, there can sometimes be emotional complications, the donor suddenly deciding he wants to be part of the family and help raise the child etc. We want it to be just us and the baby, so we are hoping for help from a fertility clinic.
However, apart from deciding that I will be the one to carry the baby, we don't know where to go from here, or any of the costs or other things involved. I've found a very good website called Stonewall (link on the left) that is a wealth of information for gays and lesbians for all aspects of life. They have an online guide for getting pregnant, but no numbers etc for contacting a fertility clinic.
I've booked an appointment to see a nurse at my local surgery on Thursday, hopefully she will be able to point us in the right direction.
Wish us luck!
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